February

It has become clear to me over the past three years that February is my least favorite month on the calendar. As the month progresses, new challenges test my will. I have found it to be tough both mentally and spiritually. Perhaps I experience these bumps in the road to help draw my focus upon the Lenten season which will once again begin soon. I used to hate Lent... 7AM mass with my folks before school every single day... giving up TV, candy, or whatever my vice was that particular year... stations of the cross and avoiding meat on Friday... it was never much fun. The older I get, though, the more I realize how much I need this season. Focus. Is there a better time to draw my focus away from my will and toward something of greater importance? It's tough, it's humbling, it requires many sacrifices... but it is so amazing. The book I chose to read last year, The Imitation of Christ, reminds me that without fighting, there is no victory. I need this season to focus on the things I hope will determine and build the man I continue to become. Through each trial, February often reminds me of how selfish my desires tend to be. The battle of "conquering me" begins in this month. This year, I'll be looking to the words of Saint Francis, who sought to focus on a life of servant leadership...

"Lord Jesus, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. And where there is sadness joy. Oh divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

Yeah, it sounds like he knew what he was talking about.